Raising Kind Humans with Joel Harper
KidsRaising Kind Humans with Joel Harper
COVID-19 has exposed many socio-economic and political issues that have polarized the country. What will the future look like for our children? As a father of three, I worry about how they will reflect on this time in their lives. Providing a routine for children is most critical, as it allows them to have a sense of control over their environment. Being thrust into a world of uncertainty has the potential to cause lifelong adverse consequences for them. Taking the time to engage and talk with our children about the issues we are facing, and taking a proactive role in being a bridge to support their engagement with the world around them has never been more critical than now. Children are watching, listening, and learning; absorbing everything that is going on in this most extraordinary time in history. As difficult as it is for adults at this time, it is hard to imagine what the little hearts and minds of kids are dealing with. The depth of our children’s level of intelligence never ceases to amaze me. The following story with my 12- and 8-year-old sons further illustrates this fact.
On a hot and muggy night last May, the quarantine in full effect, my family and I were driving home from a much-needed hike in the local foothills. We were laughing and talking when my eldest son shouted out in the middle of our conversation:
“Dad! There’s Miles! He looks terrible! We can’t just drive by him.”
Miles is a homeless man that has lived in our community ever since I can remember. My son was 4 years old when he first began asking us questions about Miles. He had lots of them.
“Where does he live, Dad? Why does he have so many things with him?”
Our job is to protect our children. But in doing so, it is easy to go too far and overprotect them. I do not believe in watering life down for kids. Children need and crave truth and honesty. We explained that Miles did not have a home and that the whole town is kind of like…his home. From that moment, Miles had a new best friend. [My son] Enzo refused to let us pass by him without giving him some money and, equally important for Enzo, a kind, “hello and how are you doing?”
I pulled over the car, rested my head on the steering wheel, and fought back tears. I had this feeling of sadness and frustration that I had not done more to help Miles a long time ago. Giving him $10 here… a 5-spot there, was not sustainable.
“Poor Miles, his shirt is all torn up,” exclaimed my 8-year-old. “And it looks like the mosquitoes are bothering him…What should we do, Dad? Can we do a GoFundMe for him? We have to do something!”
I got out of the car and walked over to talk to Miles. I looked back at the car, my boys’ faces plastered to the window. I sat and talked with Miles for a while, got a sense of his needs, struggles, and dreams. Within 48 hours, the kids’ GoFundMe campaign raised $4,000. The public outpouring of support was incredible! The GoFundMe effort would result in a kind human from Union Station Homeless Services becoming his official advocate. The city police chief got involved along with many concerned citizens, all of whom were galvanized to support Miles. The efforts include bringing him home-cooked meals, offering a lockbox on a family’s property, getting him medical support, and, soon, we hope housing.
Housing will not come without challenges. Miles was candid with me, sharing that as he has been sleeping outside for so long, he gets anxious sleeping inside and would rather sleep outdoors. But having a place where he could shower would be of interest to him, he said. I remain hopeful, and I do believe that over time, his desire to have a home might change. We drove past Miles the other day and the kids noticed he was wearing brand new tennis shoes. He was sitting on his favorite bench, enjoying a meal that someone brought him. The boys were so happy! And so was I.
By addressing the issues that are dividing the nation from a place of kindness, I have to believe that we can find a way to lessen the divide. As parents, doing our best to raise kind humans – who I hope will in turn raise their children to be kind humans – is vital if we hope to thwart off future pandemics and break the cycle of hate and systemic racism. Children are leading the way. Let’s continue to listen and learn from them.
– James Baldwin
Shop Joel’s Books! His children’s picture books teach beautiful lessons about protecting and connecting with our planet.
Author Profile
Joel was born and raised in Claremont, California. His passions include spending time at the beach and mountains with his family, writing and publishing children’s picture books, playing any musical instrument he can get his hands on, playing soccer, advocating for ocean conservation, and teaching music. He’s a busy guy! A fun (and not well-known) fact about Joel is that he can still do the inchworm and – sort of – breakdance. (Shhhhhh…the proof: https://www.youtube.com/watch?
